How Can I Help, Papa?
A Child's Journey Through Loss and Healing.

  Elissa’s second book, How Can I Help, Papa? A Child’s Journey Through Loss and Healing, is designed to help children (ages six to twelve) and their families who have a terminally ill loved one in their lives. Until recently children were kept away from the dying in order to protect them from "unnecessary” suffering. Today it is becoming universally recognized that children and their families need to share this precious time together, be encouraged to feel their feelings, express their love and even have the opportunity to say goodbye.

   Tenderly illustrated by artist Ulrike Graf, nine-year old Pumpkin finds simple creative ways to help her beloved grandfather Papa in a time of irrevocable change. Pumpkin’s courage and love shatter the myth of helplessness surrounding the death of a loved one. How Can I Help, Papa? is a valuable resource to empower children and their families in a time of greatest need. This book is destined to become a classic in bereavement and hospice care. How Can I Help, Papa? is available through the National Hospice & Palliative Care Association in the United States and also is published in Korean by the HyoRonWoKee Press.

Reviews and Testimonials for
How Can I Help, Papa?

"Al-Chokhachy offers us a handsomely and sensitively crafted book (hard cover) for children and the adults in their lives focusing on a child’s journey through the dying and death of a grandfather. The artwork is beautiful, colorful, and appropriate to text and theme. The story unfolds in warm, inviting ways to capture the heart of the reader and then give them lots of room and safety to unfold in ways that they must for their own grieving and healing.

We see the natural curiosity of a child, the honesty of parents who share rather than hide (shielding the child) their feelings, and a family able to come together around a common love and a common loss. This book will be a wise counsel for children and a good resource to facilitate discussion."

- The World Pastoral Care Center

"I liked your book because it reminded me of all the things my Papa and I did. It made me feel like it was written for me even though we have never met. I too was very close to my Papa. When I read it for the first time, I got a warm, fuzzy feeling. Thank you for writing this book. I think it’s great! "

- A. J. Lupo, 10 years old

"How Can I Help, Papa? is a very real story that offers concrete ways for children to help an ailing grandparent. It gives children permission to be sad, it encourages talking and to actually say goodbye to a loved one without feeling it is “bad”. Not only is it a book for children, but for adults who are dealing with children and grief. Papa is a touching story on a subject that is often overlooked by families. We think Elissa should send it to the Oprah Book Club!"

- Elementary Guidance Staff, Peabody Public School System

"One of the best books I have read for children dealing with someone who is terminally ill."

- Cindy Eastwood, Hospice Outreach of Fall River

"How Can I Help, Papa? is an invaluable resource for anyone trying to help children prepare for and cope with the illness and loss of a loved one. Children’s feelings of hopelessness and helplessness are addressed and alleviated through gentle reminders of pleasant times, inspirational messages, and simple acts of kindness that children of all ages can understand and take part in."

- Christina M. MacGregor, First grade teacher & mother of a 3 year-old son

"The straightforward, unpretentious text will comfort and reassure and inform. Combined with the pleasing illustrations, the story establishes a tone of friendly, inviting domesticity that should make children (and adults) feel safe."

- Martha Stout, LSW